LocalNewser standupkid's dispatches from the frontlines of local news

Local News Unplugged

If you've ever worked in the field with me, you know I've long had a dream about a kind of unplugged, unrestrained local newscast where reporters and anchors talk like real people. And by that, I don't mean they simply start liveshots by saying "hey guys" to the anchors. I mean, really, truly, telling stories the way we tell each other.

"Jeff, it's a clusterf--- out here. The storm knocked the sh-- out of this neighborhood. Just look at the size of this fu--ing tree! It came crashing through this joker's roof, woke him right the hell up and I'm sure he probably sh-- himself, but he'll be okay."

Or the anchor: "Mark, what the fu-- is going on out there?" "Well Bob, police tell us some poor fu-- was using the ATM when a couple of fu--ing assh---s drive up and start shooting."

Well, that's what I was thinking about when I saw this sweet little clip from Portland:

I'm telling you. This sh-- could work.